big things

This is for all the times I wished that my kids were "just a little older"

...so I didn't have to lug around a stroller, diaper bag, toys and cheerios

...so I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night

...so I didn't have to change diapers and wash bottles

...so I could use the bathroom undisturbed

...so I didn't have to watch another episode of Dora

...so we didn't have to go through teething and potty training

...so that I could go out for dinner with just my husband

...

What I was doing was

bringing my best buddy everywhere with me

and listening to the cooing and jabbering from the crib.

Kissing toes and giving tickles during diaper changing time.

Getting company because my best buddy loved to be with me every where I was.

Singing our favorite songs and watching our favorite cartoons.

Laughing and playing peek-a-boo.

Taking trips as a family.

...

Being a parent is hard work. Frustrating and stressful at times.

But how quickly the time slips away.

My first born is in her last years of school.

My tiny, tiny preemie....all grown up!

Nearly 17!

I am ashamed at all the times I wished her childhood away.

All those little things

were BIG things.

I know that now.

I wished for a day when it would be just my husband and I.

But that day will be here far too soon,

I know it.

My children will grow.

There will be graduations, weddings, and grandchildren.

I am thankful to have children that will eventually have their own families.

I will love being grandma and seeing our family grow and grow

over the years.

Getting together on holidays and special occasions.

But I'm not ready for that yet. 

I'm still mommy. They still think I'm the greatest woman in the world.

They still sit on my lap and listen to my stories.

They still play toys.

They still believe in Santa.

I'm going to love and hug and squeeze them until they push me away.

I will enjoy 

EVERY. LITTLE. THING.

I love you, sweet babies of mine.