http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/08/15/it/
Click the link above to read a really interesting article. It's called "It Matters Whom You Marry". Someone posted it on Facebook and after reading it, felt the need to share it with you.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
good weekend
It's Sunday. I'm having a FABULOUS weekend. I haven't done anything that anyone else would consider fun (probably), but it's been great nonetheless.
A lot of people I know took their kids to the Taylor Swift concert. I had no idea she was even in town until I heard people talking about it on Friday. My kids aren't crazed fans I guess. My kids are weird that way. Never a part of the Bieberization of America. Can't stand One Direction. Used to like Miley though, until the VMAs. They are more into GaGa, Rhianna, and Maroon 5. Smart kids, I'd say ;)
It was time for the end of summer pool cleaning and sanitizing. The pool is all down and put away now. The giant circle of dead grass where it once sat looks empty and lonely. And now I have a better view of my overgrown rose garden.
I'm sore. My lower back and hamstrings. It's a tough job bailing water and scrubbing the inside of the pool! About two hours of work Hanna, Eden and I put in. Feels good to have it done.
What else did I do? Oh yeah, I did a photo restoration for a client. That went well and she was happy with the end result, which always makes me happy.
Finished putting the last of the laundry away. Laundry, from start to complete finish, always takes about a week. But I hang a lot of it up to dry instead of using the dryer. So there.
My husband went into work for a little while yesterday. He's working so much lately, poor guy. He even worked over the long holiday weekend, which is why we couldn't get away together. I wanted to go to Duluth, but not alone with the kids. I asked him who else had to work over the weekend. Nobody. I guess that is a perk of being a manager?
But he didn't work long yesterday. Then he made apple pie with our freshly picked apples from the Orchard.
We biked there. I had Emma on the tag along because I wasn't sure if she'd want to go that far on her bike. Plus my 500lb camera bag on my back. It was a good workout for sure! Andreas had the big hiking back pack on his back with our picnic stuff and it was full of apples on the way back.
This is "Big Red". Anyone seen Turbo yet? It's a good movie. Anyway, we couldn't reach this one and it was so big....and red. We were using the apples that had fallen on the ground as missiles to try and knock it down. No luck. So I got down on all fours and let my husband stand on my back. It worked!
Trips to the orchard will always be some of my fondest memories with my family.
A lot of people I know took their kids to the Taylor Swift concert. I had no idea she was even in town until I heard people talking about it on Friday. My kids aren't crazed fans I guess. My kids are weird that way. Never a part of the Bieberization of America. Can't stand One Direction. Used to like Miley though, until the VMAs. They are more into GaGa, Rhianna, and Maroon 5. Smart kids, I'd say ;)
It was time for the end of summer pool cleaning and sanitizing. The pool is all down and put away now. The giant circle of dead grass where it once sat looks empty and lonely. And now I have a better view of my overgrown rose garden.
I'm sore. My lower back and hamstrings. It's a tough job bailing water and scrubbing the inside of the pool! About two hours of work Hanna, Eden and I put in. Feels good to have it done.
What else did I do? Oh yeah, I did a photo restoration for a client. That went well and she was happy with the end result, which always makes me happy.
Finished putting the last of the laundry away. Laundry, from start to complete finish, always takes about a week. But I hang a lot of it up to dry instead of using the dryer. So there.
My husband went into work for a little while yesterday. He's working so much lately, poor guy. He even worked over the long holiday weekend, which is why we couldn't get away together. I wanted to go to Duluth, but not alone with the kids. I asked him who else had to work over the weekend. Nobody. I guess that is a perk of being a manager?
But he didn't work long yesterday. Then he made apple pie with our freshly picked apples from the Orchard.
We biked there. I had Emma on the tag along because I wasn't sure if she'd want to go that far on her bike. Plus my 500lb camera bag on my back. It was a good workout for sure! Andreas had the big hiking back pack on his back with our picnic stuff and it was full of apples on the way back.
This is "Big Red". Anyone seen Turbo yet? It's a good movie. Anyway, we couldn't reach this one and it was so big....and red. We were using the apples that had fallen on the ground as missiles to try and knock it down. No luck. So I got down on all fours and let my husband stand on my back. It worked!
This was the previous method. Crappy blown out picture, but you get the idea.
Eden. Always photogenic.
Trips to the orchard will always be some of my fondest memories with my family.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know
1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" - and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.
Being told you are "stupid", "ugly", "lazy" or "worthless" is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you "may get used to" hearing it from a partner. That's when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person's work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.
The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.
2. You are always told that it's your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can't possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn't said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.
3. You're more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you've been treated? Have you found yourself asking: "Is it reasonable to feel like this?" "Am I misinterpreting things?" "Have I got it wrong?"
If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you've stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can't feel the strength of your own convictions.
4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they've said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they've caused?
Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?
When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.
5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.
You do everything you can to make him happy, but it's never good enough. You're more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he'll be charmed, often he's dismissive.
If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner's expense.
6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)
Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.
7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can't do it, because her partner is working against her.
Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.
But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.
Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.
Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/60849
Being told you are "stupid", "ugly", "lazy" or "worthless" is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you "may get used to" hearing it from a partner. That's when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person's work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.
The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.
2. You are always told that it's your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can't possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn't said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.
3. You're more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you've been treated? Have you found yourself asking: "Is it reasonable to feel like this?" "Am I misinterpreting things?" "Have I got it wrong?"
If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you've stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can't feel the strength of your own convictions.
4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they've said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they've caused?
Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?
When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.
5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.
You do everything you can to make him happy, but it's never good enough. You're more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he'll be charmed, often he's dismissive.
If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner's expense.
6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)
Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.
7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can't do it, because her partner is working against her.
Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.
But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.
Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.
Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/60849
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Summer
Hi there! Do you remember me? Probably not since I NEVER blog anymore. Just too darn busy anymore. Just thought I'd share some cute pics of my baby girl having a little fun in the sun. Hope your summer is as delightful as ours has been!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Ahhhh.......summer vacation
Ahhh, summer. For the most part, there are no schedules, no routines, no plan.....it's mostly just fly by the seat of our pants. I love that my kids don't want to be in any activities over the summer months. Kids like a chance to breathe & relax too. After 9 months of hectic schedules and running everywhere, it's nice to be able to just chill. It's the perfect time to watch your stress levels fall.
We ended up at a garage sale today. It was one of those odd days where I actually had cash in my purse and Eden saw a sign and begged to go (like always), so we went. I'm not a huge garage sale person. Not that I'm above it or anything like that. I loves me a good bargain. It just makes me a little uncomfortable rummaging through other people's stuff while they watch you. I don't even like being approached by sales people when I go shopping asking me if I need help finding stuff. I always say, "No thank you" very kindly but in my head I'm screaming, "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!". So anyway, we left with a lot of "name brand" clothing for dirt cheap. Some good finds.
We had to laugh though because there was a lady there who was complaining about the price of the paperback books they were selling. She said that selling them for $1 a piece was way too high priced and most people wouldn't sell them for over 50 cents. And she went on and on about it. Took a 5 or 10 minute break. Then started up again about the outrageousness of trying to sell a paperback book for $1, as if she hadn't just gave the very same speech 5 minutes ago. Funny.
On a crazy whim, we went to Taco Johns for lunch. I had two hard shell tacos and a small sized order of potato oles. I decided to look at the calorie content on my phone as I waited for my kids to finish eating. First, I saw the tacos. Compared to everything else on the list, if you are going to get anything, get the hard shell tacos. Pretty much the lowest calorie item. Yay for me! And I wasn't even trying. Then I looked at the oles - 400 calories....in a small!!! Holy crap! There went all the good I did ordering the low calorie tacos! And right then and there I vowed to not eat anymore of that kind of stuff until it was time to celebrate losing the 10 pounds I've gained. Sounds vaguely familiar to the vow I said Tuesday night, after my anniversary pasta dinner gorge-and-barf-o-rama.
Did you know that a chicken fajita at Taco Johns is like 850 calories?! I would have guessed that if anything, that would be one of the better choices. Yikes! Not so! Eating out is just plain terrible for you. And don't get me started on the sodium content of restaurant food! You are so much better off preparing your meals at home.
I've been doing slightly better this week. Things are...ok. Better than terrible, so I'll take it. I still feel as though I'm just going through the motions from day to day. Simply trying to get by. I'm hoping that the sun will start to shine in this perpetually gloomy part of the country because that always helps things seem a little less hopeless. But I have a feeling this is going to be one painfully short summer. If I had the chance to move south (or anywhere warm for that matter), I wouldn't hesitate. Not even a little.
We ended up at a garage sale today. It was one of those odd days where I actually had cash in my purse and Eden saw a sign and begged to go (like always), so we went. I'm not a huge garage sale person. Not that I'm above it or anything like that. I loves me a good bargain. It just makes me a little uncomfortable rummaging through other people's stuff while they watch you. I don't even like being approached by sales people when I go shopping asking me if I need help finding stuff. I always say, "No thank you" very kindly but in my head I'm screaming, "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!". So anyway, we left with a lot of "name brand" clothing for dirt cheap. Some good finds.
We had to laugh though because there was a lady there who was complaining about the price of the paperback books they were selling. She said that selling them for $1 a piece was way too high priced and most people wouldn't sell them for over 50 cents. And she went on and on about it. Took a 5 or 10 minute break. Then started up again about the outrageousness of trying to sell a paperback book for $1, as if she hadn't just gave the very same speech 5 minutes ago. Funny.
On a crazy whim, we went to Taco Johns for lunch. I had two hard shell tacos and a small sized order of potato oles. I decided to look at the calorie content on my phone as I waited for my kids to finish eating. First, I saw the tacos. Compared to everything else on the list, if you are going to get anything, get the hard shell tacos. Pretty much the lowest calorie item. Yay for me! And I wasn't even trying. Then I looked at the oles - 400 calories....in a small!!! Holy crap! There went all the good I did ordering the low calorie tacos! And right then and there I vowed to not eat anymore of that kind of stuff until it was time to celebrate losing the 10 pounds I've gained. Sounds vaguely familiar to the vow I said Tuesday night, after my anniversary pasta dinner gorge-and-barf-o-rama.
Did you know that a chicken fajita at Taco Johns is like 850 calories?! I would have guessed that if anything, that would be one of the better choices. Yikes! Not so! Eating out is just plain terrible for you. And don't get me started on the sodium content of restaurant food! You are so much better off preparing your meals at home.
I've been doing slightly better this week. Things are...ok. Better than terrible, so I'll take it. I still feel as though I'm just going through the motions from day to day. Simply trying to get by. I'm hoping that the sun will start to shine in this perpetually gloomy part of the country because that always helps things seem a little less hopeless. But I have a feeling this is going to be one painfully short summer. If I had the chance to move south (or anywhere warm for that matter), I wouldn't hesitate. Not even a little.
Monday, May 27, 2013
My Odd Duck
My kids are always telling me I smell good. Of course they say that about their grandmas too. In fact, sometimes Eden will come home from school and the first thing she says when she walks through the door is, "I smell grandma!" and indeed grandma had been over that day. And one time she was talking to Gram on the phone and said, "I can even smell you through the phone". It's kind of cute.
But now Eden has gotten into huffing me. She is ALWAYS by me.....sniffing. It's almost embarrassing anymore! We were bowling a few nights ago and she wouldn't stop sniffing me so I finally had to raise my voice and tell her to knock it off! Then she got all pouty about it. I felt bad, but come on, really? In public now?
So this morning, she was laying on the floor beside me at my computer (where Lizzy usually lays) and after about 10 minutes she finally said, "Mom, can I just have ONE sniff??" Oh dear Lord!
So I let her have one.
This kid is an odd duck. She's super freakishly smart. In the highest math group in her class. I don't think she's missed a single spelling word on a spelling test in the last 2 years. She rarely ever needs help with homework and when she does, it's a math problem that even I don't know how to do. Which is sort of embarrassing to say but everyone who knows me knows that math and I don't get along. Except for trig. For some strange reason, I aced my college trigonometry class. Who knew! That was back in a time when I was going to be an architect. HA! Can you imagine?!
Anyway, continuing on with my odd duck, she doesn't like elevators, she's got an above average level of OCD, and she thinks our dog's paws smell like "fresh Chinese rice". But she's my odd duck, and I love her.
But now Eden has gotten into huffing me. She is ALWAYS by me.....sniffing. It's almost embarrassing anymore! We were bowling a few nights ago and she wouldn't stop sniffing me so I finally had to raise my voice and tell her to knock it off! Then she got all pouty about it. I felt bad, but come on, really? In public now?
So this morning, she was laying on the floor beside me at my computer (where Lizzy usually lays) and after about 10 minutes she finally said, "Mom, can I just have ONE sniff??" Oh dear Lord!
So I let her have one.
This kid is an odd duck. She's super freakishly smart. In the highest math group in her class. I don't think she's missed a single spelling word on a spelling test in the last 2 years. She rarely ever needs help with homework and when she does, it's a math problem that even I don't know how to do. Which is sort of embarrassing to say but everyone who knows me knows that math and I don't get along. Except for trig. For some strange reason, I aced my college trigonometry class. Who knew! That was back in a time when I was going to be an architect. HA! Can you imagine?!
Anyway, continuing on with my odd duck, she doesn't like elevators, she's got an above average level of OCD, and she thinks our dog's paws smell like "fresh Chinese rice". But she's my odd duck, and I love her.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Flashback Tuesday
It doesn't quite have that ring to it like Flashback Friday, does it?
So I was reading some of my blog posts from long ago and thinking since I rarely post anymore, it might be fun to relive some fun moments from a few years ago. So here you go!
http://thearffadventure.blogspot.com/2008/10/emmas-haircut.html
So I was reading some of my blog posts from long ago and thinking since I rarely post anymore, it might be fun to relive some fun moments from a few years ago. So here you go!
http://thearffadventure.blogspot.com/2008/10/emmas-haircut.html
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