Sunday, October 31, 2010


A couple of reasons to not hate spiderwebs:

They can be beautiful and sparkly.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

"WOW, what a hole" quote Home Alone 2

This is the giant gaping hole in our fence that the wind left us with. I heard on the news that the gusts were as strong as a category 3 hurricane. I don't know what that means, but it sounds pretty bad. I always thought you could compare North Dakota winds to hurricane.

Not only has this hole left us feeling exposed and without a cozy secure border surrounding our home, but the dog can no longer go out unless she is on a leash. Heaven forbid she go play in traffic. Eh hem. Maybe you remember me cursing the dog in a previous post for standing at the door all day long wanting out, then in, then out again and well, you get the idea. Now I get to bundle up and go out and in with her. Oh. Joy.

You also may remember how I was the LAST person in the house that wanted a giant shedding, slobbering poop machine (not another one, anyway), and it took quite a lot of convincing on the part of my loving family before I finally caved. Isn't it ironic how I am the lucky one to be home with her all day? Don't ya think?

No, I'm not bitter. I've still got one card on the table. And I'd like to call that card......a cat. Andreas HATES cats. Much to my dismay because I rather fancy them. Stinky litter box and all. Can't be any worse than the 20 plus pee stains the dog has blessed our cream colored carpet with. Definitely can't shed any more. AND, I'm pretty sure I won't get bowled over by a witto puddy tat. Muahahahahaha!!

Oh. It's on.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hanna is 13!

I was only 6 months pregnant when I had problems that required me to be flown in a helicopter to the hospital in an attempt to save my unborn baby's life. Had I not been with my sister, who knew to take me in, I don't know that I would have my Hanna today.

I was given drugs which made my heart feel like it would pound it's way out of my chest, made me sick, made me sweaty...pretty much made me feel more horrible than I'd ever felt. My IV sites were painful. My belly was irritated from wearing a fetal monitor 24/7. I had to wear these horribly uncomfortable things on my legs that would inflate and squeeze my legs because I wasn't allowed out of bed. I had to [try] to poop in a bedpan. Does anyone know how embarrassing that is????? Nurses had to give me suppositories. Awful. And there was nothing I could do but lay there, miserable, scared, sad, bored, and helpless for what was supposed to go on for [hopefully] another 3 months. All this, to keep my first baby inside my womb.

When the magnesium sulfate was too much for me they would lower the dosage. If my uterus started misbehaving, they'd crank it up again. Eventually I would get rid of it altogether but then I'd start contracting so I'd need to have it again. This went on for 11 days when finally, my water broke. An hour later, my 1 1/2 pound baby was born. Her eyes weren't open yet, her skin was translucent, she couldn't breathe on her own. It was pretty much a mother's biggest nightmare. I didn't know if she would live or die. And if she did live, it seemed like there were a million problems she would most likely encounter. Abnormalities, disabilities, neurological problems...the list is long.

I used to get so irritated when I would be in a conversation about childbirth or pregnancy and someone would say to me, "Oh, well it doesn't really count for you because you didn't have a labor and she was only a pound and a half. It couldn't have been that bad!" Imagine the self control I possess not to have knocked these people into next week? Really? Couldn't have been that bad?? I think I would have rather had a 12 pound baby with no pain meds and a 48 hour labor than what I had to go through. I can't stand woman who brag about how big their babies were, as if they had anything to do with it, really.

Back then, I didn't know if 13 years into the future I would be lucky enough to have this wonderful girl to love. I don't know what I did to deserve it but I was given a miracle. She was barely 12 inches long. Now she is healthy, smart, funny and beautiful. Happy birthday to my first born, my miracle, my sweet Hanna!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh what the heck

One more post. That will make 3 for today. My, my, my, ambitious aren't we?

I was taking a few pictures of Hanna on this lovely overcast day, and she was making some pretty odd faces. It's really hard to get a good shot of her with her eyes open. She must be overly sensitive to light or something. For every good photo of her, I have at least 3 like these:

When I was showing her my favorite goofy pictures of her she said, "MOM! Don't you dare put those on facebook!".

"Of course not, honey".

Well, I didn't.

I'm the hideous pig in the corner

I feel sick. I have heartburn, and I never have heartburn. I had it really bad when I was pregnant but that's not my problem this time.

I've just eaten myself stupid. Again.

I've been letting my diet slide over the last couple of weeks and this weekend, I really did 'er in. I baked pie, knowing I would be getting a birthday cake for Hanna. We had a chocolate free for all on Friday night. And I've made a lot of carb-o-licious dinners on top of all the junk. I literally feel like I've gained 5 pounds of solid fat in the past 3 days, even though it's basically impossible. Because that would mean I would have had to eat an excess of 7500 calories over what my body burns off. And that would just make me....well, it would mean I had eating super powers. And while I admit that I can eat a lot (I give a grown 200 pound man a run for his money most days), I can't eat THAT much.

But still, I feel horrible as a result of my gluttony. Not to mention the mental torture I've been putting myself through. I'm constantly preaching about how important a healthful diet is and trying to model good behavior for my children so they can learn from my example. But right now I feel like a big hypocrite. I don't claim to be perfect. I have food meltdowns. I like fried fatty food and sugar just as much as the next addict.

I'm sitting here in my fat pants, just me and my heartburn, crying over the latest Victoria's Secret catalog, feeling like a hideous pig, and blogging. I think I'm gonna rank that up there with drunk dialing. Dangerous.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Silly bands

What is the deal with these things? When Eden first showed me a few that her friends had given her, and then asked me to buy some for her I was like, "Why? When they are in your hair, nobody knows the shape anyway."

Well, stupid OLD me, they don't go in your hair, DUH! They go on your wrist, where you can then show them, exchange them with friends, or just let them fester a good old stinky rash on your arm (which is what I would assume could happen in you wore them constantly).

Anyway, this is Eden's collection of silly bands, which are ALL THE RAGE among her friends. Even kids Hanna's age in middle school are sporting them. Eden has quite a few but she insists on getting more because, "some of my friends have both arms covered!". Well, ok. They aren't expensive or hard to come by or anything. I just don't like the fact that it takes you 5 years to take them on and off. Nor do I want you to look like you have casted your arms with rubber.

I can't wait to see what it is next month.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's whatev

This week started out blah. I don't know if it had to do with the clouds, or the ritual of climbing the Monday laundry mountain, or that I went a couple days without doing a single thing that even remotely resembled exercise. Maybe it was because I knew I had so much to do and just felt utterly overwhelmed by it. OR, maybe I'm just a big whiner.

But, whatever it was, I seem to be over it. I had a nice quiet evening with my husband last night while the kids had a sleepover at Gram's house. We were able to talk without interruptions (aside from Lizzy barking for attention). And we watched a good movie. It was nice to relax.

I skipped my run last night, in fact, I've skipped a lot of them in the past week. But as long as I still lift weights every other day, I don't feel like an entire failure. I prefer weight training to running anyway.

My kids have 6 days in a row at home starting today. Two convention days and two professional development days and then a weekend in the middle. Pretty cool! It's just too bad we didn't take advantage of it and leave town. I sort of planned a skating party for Hanna's birthday on Saturday anyway. It might be a small turn out though, not a lot of her friends are able to go.

Hanna is going to be 13 next Wednesday. WOW! It's just insane to think that I will be a mother to a teenage girl. It's not like I was overly young when I had her either. I was 23. Still, it seems like not that long ago I was 13. And I certainly don't feel 35! I guess that is what matters. I feel young even though Hanna tells me I'm old. Just yesterday she said that and I was like "35 is NOT old!". But, I probably thought the same thing when I was her age. I said, "35 is the new 16." lol

Halloween is approaching fast and I still don't have all my decorations up! Probably won't do it until that Sunday, just because I know Lizzy would be constantly trying to eat everything. New toys! I wonder how Christmas is going to go? I have a ton of decorations and I will refuse to leave them in boxes because of the dog! This could be war!

Ok, I've rambled long enough about nothing in particular. I'm off to pump some iron.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My hairy baby

Lizzy bear, my baby bear, is 8 months now. I love her and hate her at the same time. Ok, I don't really hate her, but she definitely has qualities that I dislike. I need to remind myself daily that she is still just a puppy, so it's ok for her to act like one, but it's so hard to think of a ginormous 80 pound dog as a puppy.

I decided that if I made a pros and cons type of list, it might help me appreciate her more. So here goes.

To be annoyed:
1)All that damn fur everywhere. Right after I just vacuumed, Lizzy? Really?
2)I can't know for sure how much of that fur we have eaten. It's on EVERYTHING. (sorry in advance to my upcoming holiday guests - hope you like hair pie. Wait....that didn't sound right...)
3)It's like living with a giant termite. One step on our beautiful staircase is permanently disfigured.
4)Counter tops are no longer safe....for anything.
5)There's so much fur!!!
6)I want out. I want in. I want out. I want in. I want out...
7)I'm gonna bark at that plastic bag....for an hour. Then, I'll bark at you for telling me to shut up.
8)It's a two person job to answer the door anymore.
9)Slime trails on my pants. It looks like snot. It looks like I've actually sneezed in my hands and wiped it all over my pants.
10)Stop. Just stop, for the love of GOD! Stop stealing clothes, important papers and everything else I don't want destroyed by your teeth!

WOW - that was way too easy. Now, to come up with the love list:
2)no wait, I'll think of something...
3)ok, ok I'm kidding. I guess you are kinda cute when you flop yourself over my legs when I'm sitting on the couch like you are a little lap dog.
4)It's a little annoying when you poke your snout on my butt to get my attention, but it's also a little funny.
5)You give me a good reason to get outside for a walk, even though it pretty much takes all my strength to keep you from chasing leaves.
6)I won't be the one pulling the kids on the sled this winter! HAHAHAHA
7)I love how you follow me everywhere because you want to be with me. You are a good companion.
8)I love how excited you get when I let you out of your room in the morning.
9)I like how you shake your leg when we rub a certain spot on your belly
10)I like your ability to lay completely flat on your belly, arms and legs out to the sides, it still makes me laugh
11)I love how people will comment on your size and then about faint when I tell them that you are still a puppy!
12)It's funny as hell when you fart. Smelly, but funny.
13)You are cute, lovable, silly, and you're ours! That's what I love, Lizzy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

wow, did she just say that?

Is it just me, or is the entire world overly sensitive about EVERYTHING these days?

I am more afraid to talk to people than ever! And I'm a fairly quiet person to begin with. I hate to say something that might offend someone or come off as too brash.

It's partly just my personality. And it's also partly because, quite honestly, I really like to be tactful. But then I became aware that I was agreeing with everyone about everything, whether or not I really did agree. How pathetic. Somewhere along the way I lost myself, and felt like my own opinions didn't matter. Maybe I didn't think I was smart enough to debate an issue in a way that made any sense. Or maybe, I just didn't feel strongly enough about anything that would require me to voice an opinion at all.

But still, I used to pride myself on being a little shy and introverted. Then I could look at overly loud and opinionated people as more shocking and offensive than myself. It's better to just keep my mouth shut than be ruffling any feathers. That's how I have always thought.

I'm growing tired of it though. Because, you know what, some people are going to get their panties in a wad because you said the word blue on a Tuesday, it's that ridiculous. You can pretty much say anything to me and I'm not going to be offended. Easy going. Tell me I have a jiggly butt, I may not like it, I may also know that it's true, but I'm probably not going to hate you for it.

p.s. please don't tell me my butt is jiggly, I have low self esteem

p.p.s. my dog is snoring, it's adorable. it's also adorable when she has audible farts, looks at her butt, then looks up at you as if to say "what just happened?"

Monday, October 18, 2010

The rest

Click here for the rest of Chelsea's "just because" pictures.


I took a LOT of pictures of my niece today. She came over with a bag of clothes, ready to spend the day posing for me. I was very appreciative of the fact that I could take pictures of someone for hours without that someone whining or complaining at all. That was a treat! Thanks to Chelsea for modeling for me so I could get some practice. You are beautiful!

Friday, October 15, 2010

My love


I fall more in love with this little girl every single day. It is a love that is immeasurable. She is the air that I breathe, the blood in my veins, the stars in my sky....everything that symbolizes beauty, life, and total happiness. I thank God every single day for the privilege of motherhood. How blessed I am!

I was playing around with some editing techniques. Not the greatest but I did what I could with more overexposed pictures. Dang it! I wish I'd quit doing that!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Crazy Lizzy

Our dog, Lizzy, gets moments of crazy every so often throughout the day. Usually ice cubes will send her into a frenzy (like in this video). Every time someone uses the ice dispenser from the refrigerator she comes running, hoping she'll get one.

This video captures a little of crazy Lizzy. It isn't her best performance but you'll get an idea.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

fall beautiful fall gorgeous fall wonderful fall

There is a spot, just about a block down the road from where we live, that I have been dying to take the girls for some pictures.

Even though it's so close, the conditions never seemed to be right. Kids are at school, at after school activities, there is homework, then it gets too dark, blah, blah, blah....

Well yesterday I finally made it happen. Whining and wind be damned!
I think the pictures proved well worth the wait. Look at that gorgeous color! I would love vines like that in our back yard.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Natural Light

I am always trying to take better photos so I read up on the techniques of photography quite often. Recently I read that it doesn't matter what kind of camera you have, you can take great pictures....if you know how. To put it another way, you could have all the top of the line equipment and still take crappy photos.

And one tip I have learned that I think is quite nice, doesn't cost a dime. Natural light. A great photo is all about the light. Not high noon sun either. You have to look around a little to get the perfect light.

Yesterday, about noon, I took Eden outside in search of this "perfect light". And I think I found a pretty good area in our front yard for that time of day. It was a sunny day, but I took her to the shady corner of the yard, where the light was gorgeous on her skin and eyes.

I still have trouble achieving what I want at times. And my camera can be so decieving. I had taken a bunch of photos in the same setting because on my camera's screen they looked to be exposed perfectly. I was so excited to upload them to the computer and take a look on a larger screen. But I was let down when I realized that probably half or more of the photos were overexposed. UGH! I tend to like my photos on the bright side anyway, so at least I could work with most of them. Thank goodness for editing software.

It's a constant experiment full of trial and error. But I guess that's what makes it exciting and challenging. I have already learned so much in the past year since getting my camera and I hope to continue reading and absorbing more so I can get better and better. I would love to turn this hobby into a career someday!