don't be alarmed, I'm not going to kill you.....

On Friday, Hanna left her cell phone on the bus. She was devastated. I called Valley Bus to see if anyone could locate it for us. Indeed, the bus driver had found it and after describing it (which was easy enough since it has big cracks in the glass) we were told we could come pick it up Friday, they would be open until noon.

So yesterday, the girls and I headed out to do some shopping. They needed something pretty to wear for Easter, I needed shoes, blah blah blah, etc.. And our first stop was to be the office at the bus barn. I was told to take 5th Ave a few blocks north of Big Top Bingo, which I did. Then I was supposed to find Leahy Lane. I knew we weren't on Leahy Lane but in the middle of all the buses I saw an office with the sign Valley Bus. Ah, that must be it.

I parked the van and walked inside. The door was open, lights were one, but no one was there. The office sat empty, computer was off. So we stood there like idiots for 5 minutes thinking someone would show up eventually. But no one did, except for a worker with a fluorescent vest on who eyed us strangely but just walked away. Eventually, I called the number I called yesterday, thinking I might here the phone ring in the room we were standing. Nope. It directed me to live answering service.

This answering service man, whom I will hence forth refer to as Bob, said that he thought the office was probably closed.

"Uh, nope. I'm standing in it." I said

Bob: "Well, I think they are probably closed today."

Me: "But the woman I spoke with yesterday said that they would be open until noon and I could pick it up."

Bob: "Hmmm, let me take down your information and have someone call you back"

I was certainly frustrated at this point. I mean, I was standing in the stupid office yet Bob was telling me the office was closed. I was about 3 seconds from riffling through the desk for the phone. Not really, but I was thinking about it.

Then suddenly, another worker with a fluorescent vest walks in, stops dead in his tracks and glares at us.

"Yeah, Bob, someone just showed up. K thanks bye." and I hung up on the oh so helpful Bob.

Now I had this guy to deal with. He was burly. Kind of reminded me of a young version of Wilford Brimley - in his 50's maybe. Anyway, I explained the whole ordeal with him and he says, "Oh, it's probably in the other office. Follow me."

Of course, the other office.

So he got in his truck, we got in the van and followed him a block over to the "other" office. Cool. We were one step closer.

He got out of his truck and went into the building. Not waiting for me. I followed him in. Just as I got inside, I saw him disappear through this door. This was sort of like following the white rabbit. Should I go down the hole? I didn't see an employees only sign so I opened the door. Inside was like a big break room/kitchen type of thing. Again, no people but the lights were on. There was the rabbit, er, Wilford, or whatever the heck his name was. He was digging through a drawer and finally pulls out this giant effing knife and walks towards me!

Paralyzed. Can't move. Can't breathe.

Then he says, "Don't be alarmed, I'm not going to kill you." and starts laughing.

To which I said, "eh....heheh.....hehe.....he......." or something

Wilford walks past me, out the break room door and jimmies the lock to the front office (which is dark) open with the knife. After he is inside the office (the one that was supposed to be open) he easily finds the phone and I high tail it out of there. Thanking him profusely of course.

We laughed for miles in the van after I told the girls the knife story. But not as much as Eden and I did at church the other night. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to get the uncontrollable giggles during Maundy Thursday service???? A story for a different day.