You can't find the cat anywhere...and why is the dryer running?
There are, what appears to be, chocolate crumbs on the couch AGAIN.....no wait, that's not chocolate!
You can get that vein in your forehead to pop out like Morbo from Futurama.
You forgot what the inside of a bar looks like.
You're a witness to the fact that the 5 second rule does not exist to a child, it's more like the 5 day rule.
You've been barfed on more times than you barfed as a freshman.
You are never shocked by crusted boogers clinging to the wall, or the priceless collection of chicken bones and tampon applicators in your child's room.
You long for some peace and quiet and to be able to poop without an audience JUST ONCE.
You weren't grossed out by any of the sentences above.
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