Poop water on the table

Funny story....

Tonight, after dinner, I sat down at the kitchen table to check my email and help the girls with their homework and suddenly Andreas yells from upstairs,

"HONEY! Can you come here for a minute please!"

I sighed and took my time getting upstairs. I got up to the bathroom and Andreas is standing on top of the toilet as a waterfall of poop water was flooding the bathroom floor faster than I'd ever seen before.

My first reaction was "HOLY CRAP!" (no pun intended). My second reaction was "why is my good towel on the floor soaking up poop water?".

Andreas: "How do I stop it!!??!!??"

Me: "um....turn off the water!"

Andreas: "HOW?"

Me: "Turn the knob!"

Andreas: "What knob?"

Meanwhile...turd lake is spreading across our bathroom floor, running down our heat vent, threatening to turn our cream carpet a very undesirable color and the kids are downstairs shouting for me.

Finally we get the water shut off and when I'm fairly certain Andreas isn't going to drown trying to get out of the bathroom, I leave to get some old towels. That is when I hear more clearly what the girls are shouting about.

"MOM!! There's water coming out of the light!!"

I run downstairs and there is waterfall #2 coming straight out of our light fixture....pouring all over the kitchen table containing my laptop, Hanna's homework and various other items.

Can ANY MORE disgusting things happen in our kitchen?? (think dead mouse incident). I mean, how barftastic can you get, having poop water spilling all over your eating surface??!!??!!

Needless to say the kitchen is going to get a good dousing with disinfectant...as soon as it stops dripping.

Seriously, I'm probably never going to have dinner guests again if I keep telling stories like this!