Monday, March 22, 2010


Gosh I love my life.

Honestly, I am just giddy, over-the-top, annoyingly happy, in love with my life.

I have perfect kids, a perfect husband, a perfect house in the perfect town with less than perfect weather, perfect, yet almost non-existent friends - the result of being a hermit/housewife for years, and a perfect extended family.

I'm not trying to brag. I dislike it when people brag so I try really hard most of the time to not brag. I am just really appreciative to God for the life He has given me.

I'm not the most religious person in the world. I used to go to church and take my kids to Sunday school but I don't anymore. Part of that is laziness and most of it is that my husband doesn't attend and I don't like to do things alone. It seems like I do a lot of things alone the way it is, so I don't care to add to that list.

Another part of that is I don't want to join everything. You know? If you go to church, you're expected to go to this group, or that event or donate half of your life savings. I like to donate, don't get me wrong, I just don't like the guilt that comes with it. Did I give enough? I'm still able to take hot showers and order pizza every other Friday, maybe that means I haven't given enough. Why can't I just go to church on Sunday, worship for 45 minutes and go home? I have a pretty severe case of social phobia which is probably why I feel this way.

I'm a good person, I do good deeds. I'm no where near perfect and wouldn't be even if I did go to church. But I've read (or heard it said) that being a good person simply isn't enough to get you into heaven. You have to worship and devote your free time to God in order to reap eternal rewards. Do I seriously believe this? I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm a good person. I'm kind and generous, I have good morals and values....but I'm going to be with the murderers in the afterlife because I didn't go to church??? Come on.

Of course no one can know. Everyone can have their own theory or belief.

But, all the same, I am amazed (daily) by all that I have been given. Seriously, I am one lucky girl. And I just want to say that I try not to take any of it for granted. I don't know if I deserve all the goodness in my life, but I'd like to think I do. Maybe I'm being rewarded for being a "good" person now instead of in the afterlife. Maybe God sees that I am a decent human being but will never be the kind of person to devote my entire life to Him, so he will make my earthly life content instead of giving me a seat at his heavenly table. Who knows.

Where did this post come from? No idea.

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