Tuesday, April 12, 2011

don't obsess

Things inside the Arff Adventure have been a little slow these days. I usually go back and forth between my fitness blog and this blog and right now, most of my energy has been focused on the fitness side of things since I have a goal date that is fast approaching. Many people might not understand the importance of my silly little fitness goals but that's ok. Everyone has their own aspirations. Maybe it's the one thing I feel like I can actually control. It's frustrating and hard, like other things in life, but at the end of the day, my actions will make or break the outcome. That is the law of life, isn't it?

Now that mother nature has finally decided to unleash spring upon this part of the world, I will be outside with my camera a lot more and then I'll [hopefully] have some pictures to share of the new life sprouting up everywhere. And my kids. It wouldn't be complete without a set of pictures that show how utterly annoyed my children are of a lens in their faces. Actually, they have had quite a nice break since I haven't been very camera happy lately. I've been spending most of my time studying and learning the editing side of photography. I realize how much I over-process a lot of my pictures so I'm hoping to break that habit and see some nice results from that.

Other than studying, obsessing about eating a clean diet and working out daily (I'll admit it, I obsess in a slightly less than normal way), I also obsess about keeping my house clean. Although you'd never tell by looking at it. Because there are only 24 hours in a day, 5 people and an elephant (I mean dog - although who can tell the difference when looking at the piles on the lawn) and 3 floors to this house which seems gigantic when it's time to clean, I just can't keep up. Was that a run on sentence? What makes a run on sentence what it is? Just curious.

My point is, I have to pick and choose what activities/chores I do each day, because I can't do it all. And a lot of it is repetitive. Like, the need to vacuum. I vacuum almost daily. Have to. There is so much dog hair on everything. That makes it hard to catch up in itself. And I hate to be the woman who obsesses about having a clean house. Because, are my kids going to remember how clean the house was when they were growing up, or are they just going to remember a mother who was neurotic about trying to keep it clean and was crabby all the time as a result? Because I don't want to be THAT mom. Sure, I like having a clean house as much as the next person. It's more relaxing to walk around in a clean house than to look at chaos and mess everywhere. But I need to learn to find a balance. I am just so tired of obsessing. About everything. Why can't I just breathe? Why can't I just relax? Wow, I'm really having a moment of self awareness here, or whatever you want to call it.

Also, Emma is going to start kindergarten in the fall. And this has been another source of, not stress, but concern. I know her preschool teacher says she thinks she will do just fine without a second year of preschool but it worries me sometimes. I don't want to make a mistake that will affect her entire future. I don't want to see her struggle. So, we've been buying beginning reading books and helping her out. Because, while I know she probably won't be reading by the time she enters kindergarten, I want to make sure she has the best start she can. And all the help we can give her between now and then is a plus. Hopefully she will be able to recognize some important sight words and have a solid understanding of all the letters and sounds. She already knows her letters but we will continue to work on sounds.

Eden went to two years of preschool and it really seemed to help her. She almost seems bored with school work because it's so easy for her. I think she's missed one spelling word the entire year. And once she started reading, she just took off. Even her teachers were amazed at how fast she excelled. I don't know if that's due to the extra year of preschool or if that is just Eden. But it makes me wonder, especially now when it is time to make a choice for Emma.

And as I type this she is sitting on the couch with her new books that I picked up last night, waiting for me. So I will see you later blogland!

1 comment:

Jess said...

I have a good book for you to read about living in the moment. I have learned A LOT. We'll talk. Eden is Eden and Emma is Emma and will do just fine in her own time. Trust me - I've lived in the preschool world for a long time. I love you and your dedication to things. You inspire me.