Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pee cleaning party anyone?

Not sure why, but while I was gone taking Eden to dance practice, our dog decided to pee on the carpet in the den. This is something she hasn't done in a reeeeeally long time. Not since before we had the carpets cleaned last November.

Anyway, I was a sweet wife and stopped to buy my dear husband a chocolate extreme blizzard at DQ on my way back. I was so excited to see his face when I handed over the surprise but instead of noticing the delicious sweet treat in my hand he came over to me, grabbed me and pulled me into the living room saying, "You have to come with me in here for a minute." Of course my mind whirled through a thousand possibilities of what could possibly be wrong within a milisecond causing me to panic slightly. Also I was irritated at this mysterious news that was stealing my ice cream thunder. But he said, "Lizzy peed on the carpet but I want to explain something to you before you see it because nothing will prepare you for the disaster you will see." And I thought, what on earth could be so horrible. She's peed on our carpet like a million times.

So he tells me that he catches her peeing, grabs her by the collar and takes her the shortest distance to the patio door, thinking she'd quit peeing in the process. But she didn't quit. And the shortest distance to the patio door happens to be carpeted, unlike the other way around, which is all tile. Bad news, everyone. Not only that, but he decided he wanted to bind the pee (or soak it up) while he was working on scrubbing it so he sprinkled flour on it. Well, the flour/pee mixture makes a lovely paste, let me tell you. He tells me all this because he knows me. And he knows if he just lets me see it first, I'll freak out. This gives me a chance to imagine the worst before I actually see it and then it won't be so bad.

It was kind of comical actually. Here is this skinny twirly whimsical line of pee running from one end of the den to the other, coated in flour. Ah, yes. Dog ownership. I can't believe she did this to my carpet after I took her for a lovely walk this afternoon. I risk my life every time I take on that task because it doesn't seem to matter how much I can bench press, that dog is freakishly strong. I'm afraid one day she'll just decide to take of after a squirrel with her leash flapping in the wind behind hand still in the loop.

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