nothing is certain

I think I know what it feels like to have a heart attack.

Every day, when I send my kids out the door to school, one of the things I always shout after them is I love you. The other is, watch for cars backing out of their driveways. Neither one of which I think they hear because their winter hats are covering their sweet little ears. And because as soon as they are out the door they bolt to the bus stop like they were going to win a prize for getting their first.

As luck would have it, every day at the exact same time my kids are running to the bus stop, our neighbor is leaving for work. And so of course, this is the main reason I am always telling them to make sure they LOOK.

Today, Eden and Emma were walking down the sidewalk, but all of a sudden, Eden gets the urge to run. As usual. Whether she feels the need to get to the bus stop before her 5 year old sister or she is just afraid she's going to miss the bus, I'm not sure. But she bolts and leaves Emma in the dust. So Emma of course starts running too. Not paying any attention whatsoever to the car backing out of our neighbor's driveway.

Well, I am surprised that our front room window is still in tact because I was trying to pound my way through it to save my baby from being run over in front of my eyes. Luckily our neighbor saw Emma and stopped, just in the nick of time, I might add.

I can't even describe the horror I felt in that moment. Watching helpless from the window. I wanted to run out of the house and scold my neighbor, who did nothing wrong. I wanted to scold Eden for starting to run. I wanted to scold Emma for not listening to my words of warning, that I've spoken at least 400 times, about cars backing out of driveways! I wanted to scream at everyone for what could have been an unspeakable and tragic accident.

But, I watched my babies get on the bus. Then I waved at them as they drove past the house on 25th street, like I do every day. And I watched them get off the bus at school, safe and sound. I love living so close to the school that I can watch them. And it helps that Emma has bright fluorescent green snow pants, I could spot her anywhere!

Thank GOD they are safe. And maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill here, because nothing happened. But I still feel butterflies as I type this. Every parent's biggest fear is that their child will get hurt. And I feel like I have been so lucky and so blessed in a safe little bubble while tragedies are happening to families all over the world.

Hug and kiss your little ones like there is no tomorrow (I know you already do), because nothing is certain.